have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
