it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
