You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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