Porn is love you can see.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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