I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
It's never too late to be topless.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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