just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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