he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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