oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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