Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
