You really coming over, don't trick.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
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