So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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