I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
