I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
