Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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