fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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