omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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