Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Vodka?
Forever.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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