FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
