Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
