you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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