TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
