Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Randomize
