hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
