I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
