Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
