Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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