3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
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