I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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