Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
the condom got lost in my hair
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
