You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
