do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
