You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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