You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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