and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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