A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
