pedialite and red bull = repair kit
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize
