Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
