Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize