oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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