apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
