Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
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No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
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Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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