how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
i think my cat just said my name.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
