I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
