do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
