I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
