p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
These 19 People Had Awkward Celebrity Sex Dreams
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.