they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.