forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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