I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
