filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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