My brain says no but my pants say off.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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