The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
