:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
