i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
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