i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
