smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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