OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
