Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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