she smelled like a LAN party
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize