You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize