I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
