I puked a lego.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He shit in the fireplace
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
