was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He? As in you personified your dick?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
