so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
