How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
