When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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