The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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